Sarah McLachlan

WOW. That's all I have to say. The most amazing show I've ever seen. EVER. It deserves a "BEST. SHOW. EVER." I only remember the two songs that she opened with in terms of order of songs, and a few that went together, but man! I was crying, singing, and feeling completely overwhelmed by her breathtaking voice.

 
She opened with Fallen (while I was standing in the drink line) then went into World On Fire (while I was still in the drink line.) Then she sang a verse of You Are My Sunshine that lead into Hold On. Then, not in the right order:

 
• Sweet Surrender
   
• Adia
   
• Witness (which was the best song of the night - IMHO)
   
• Stupid
   
• Drifting
   
• Fear (Which she started in a low octave for the first verse, then jumped to the next octave for the rest of the song - GOOSEBUMPS)
   
• Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
   
• I will Remeber You
   
• Building a Mystery  (when I was in the bathroom - after two drinks that's what happens)
   
• Possession
   
• Wait
   
• Mary
   
• Elsewhere (My favorite SM song)
   
• Ice (also really amazing)
   
• Ice Cream (with audience participation)
   
• Trainwreck
   
• Answer 
   
• Push (which she dedicated to her husband - the drummer Ash Sood) /Angel (Piano Solos)
   
• Time
   
• Perfect Girl
   
• Dirty Little Secret (ended the show with that one, I think)
  

 
I kept waiting for her to sing I Love You, Good Enough, Dear God but alas, t'was not so. :(
 
But still. 26 songs. 2 encores. 2 and a half hours on non-stop Sarah McLachlan. I'm sad that it's over. I hope I won't have to wait another 7 years to see her again.
 

Our Trip to Canada

So Brandon and I are going on our roadtrip in 19 days! The countdown begins! We reserved our room for our 2 year anniversary in Edmonton and we're staying at Hotel MacDonald in their Chateau Suite. It's two stories (built into the turret of the hotel - see the picture from the website to know what I'm talking about) and has a jetted bathtub with seperate shower stall. Full breakfast in their fine dining restaurant comes with the room as does a breathtaking view of the North Saskatchewan River (which is probably brown, but hey, at least it's a river.)  For our first night in Edmonton, My Uncle Pat and Auntie Janet are letting us stay with them, which is totally awesome. Our aniv. night is the next night, and then for the next two nights we're staying at The Met Hotel on Whyte Ave. I can't wait! I'm freaking out over here!
 
I celebrated Auntie Die Die's birthday with her on Friday night. We had chinese food and watched VH1's "I love the 90's." It was fun. Uncle Danny got back after 10pm with a Carvel ice cream cake. MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm....
 
I still have to get my car registered (my registration expires while I'm on vacation) get my A/C checked out (to make sure we don't lose it during our trip) and I have to finish Brandon's aniv. present. Damn. So much to do, so little time. Oh well.

Kerry/Edwards 2004?

I just attended my first rally, and it was interesting. I met with some other people through Democracy for America last night, which was kind of disappointing. There was no host, and because it was my first time doing anything political outside of talking about it with my family (which always goes well) or friends so I had no idea what to expect. It was nice to meet with other people who think the way that I do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.


See this site: http://www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com


That's kind of how I feel.


Wil Wheaton's new book Just a Geek is out. I'm planning on buying it directly from him at the convention.

Viruses (Virusi)!

So, I'm on Ann Coulter's website, and I decide to venture off into republican land for a while and what do you know?!!!! I get a virus on my computer! Now, you might think I'm one of these crazy liberal lefties who likes to blame anyone and everyone, especially the right, for anything bad that might happen ever just because I am an America-hating, communist, fancy pants elitist, even if it such an event would only happen once. But guess what? Ever since I've been trying to see the right POV, my probing the other side has gotten me 4 viruses. (Virusi?) I go to lefty websites all the time! NO VIRUSI! The only reason I know it's from certain websites is because as soon as I visit an infected site, my virus program starts running, and freaks out. So what have I learned from all this? Not a lot from the right, seeing as I can't even access their websites without having to have my network administrator delete trojan virusi. I learned that you have to read print media to learn anything real about the right. OH! That's it! They don't want to give you FREE information, they want you to have to BUY their books! Wow, I see the light. ;)

July 4th weekend

Sunday was great! We rented the boat, cruised around, found a beach/alcove with warm water, drank, ate, swam, floated, listened to music and got in trouble with the boat police for having people hanging out on the front and the back of the boat while it was in motion. All in all, great times. I have pictures in my camera that I will have to display hopefully this weekend.

Today

So, I asked my supervisor if I had to come in early on Monday, seeing as it was a holiday and nobody would be at corporate to recieve our early reports (which is the only reason I come in early on Monday mornings.) She asked our boss and he said that everything is the same for Monday, meaning come in early because(I assumed) the people would be at corporate and we would have to get the reports out as usual in a timely fashion. So after the second night in a row of 5 hours sleep, I come draggin into work this morning. I start doing reports and something is not adding up. Time is ticking away, and I just can't think anymore, so I call my boss (who is in as well - he came in shortly after I did) to ask him if he could please take a look at this report because I can't see straight. He tells me not to worry about it, we're under no time constraints this morning. :0 I was slightly stunned for a minute, and then started to brew. Later, talking to him, I said, "If we're under no time constraints, why did I have to come in so early?" He said that, "He likes to get these things taken care of right away." Then later, as I'm thinking through this situation, I'm realizing that I'm the only one here. My supervisor is not here, and my boss came to work in a tank-top and shorts, so he's probably going home. We close at 6pm, but I usually leave at 4pm on Mondays. So I ask him, "Are you staying?" He laughs and says, "No..." I say, "So, I'm supposed to work for 12 hours today?" He says, "Oh yeah. Nobody told you that hey?" Then I say to him, "Well, if you would have let me come in at the regular time this morning then this wouldn't be an issue." He says, "Have you forgotten who you're talking to?" Then he starts joking around, "The shit rolls down the hill, and near the bottom is gets bigger and faster." So later (about an hour later) he can sense that I'm not happy about this situation. He says, "So, you OK with this?" This time I laughed at him and said, "And if I'm not, then what? You're not going to stay, nothings going to change, and I'll still be here till 6pm." He thanked me and then left (around 9am). So here I am, at work, for 12 hours without knowing about it first. Don't you think that they should have at least told me that on Friday when I called instead of letting me just do it without them having to tell me that face to face? Man! I'm pissed. I can't wait for my vacation already! Only 5 more weeks!

Days go by...

Thank you to the Hendrey family for reading and sending me emails and phone calls about that last post. I've never forgotten how much your family meant to me when I was growing up.


Happy Canada Day *cough* 2 days ago *cough*

The last Canada Day that I celebrated we went to the river valley and watched the fire works. I think it was me, Tara, Boutie, Andy, Jeff, Stephanie, Curtis and Troy? That was, I think, in 2001? Somebody help me on this one... Tara? We all got seperated and it ended up being only me, Tara and Boutie, but it was still fun, and fucking crowded. Not to mention all the drunk people. It's hard to have fireworks when the sun goes down in the summer, because it doesn't get dark until 11pm or so. So here in Las Vegas, they're going to be setting off fireworks at 8pm. Oh well. I won't be in the city....

Happy USA Day

I will be on a boat on the Colorado River, sipping umbrella-laden drinks, avoiding all the terrorist plots to plant floating beer cooler bombs on the water. My coworker is working for me on a Sunday and this will be the first Sunday in 4 months, make that the first WHOLE DAY IN FOUR MONTHS that I've been able to see Brandon. I haven't seen him in the daylight for a while, we have totally different days off, and I'm tired on his days off, and he's tired on my days off, not to mention that he works until 9pm sometimes (after starting at 9am). He is such a good man. He really makes me feel needed and wanted and is always there when I need to vent or laugh or tickle. Did you know that we have never had a fight? We've never yelled at each other. There's been dissagreements, but it's never gotten to the "Cops" level or even to the shouting level. He is just so laid back about things and has such a grounded view and perspective. Ooops. I just drifted into a Brandon moment. :D Where was I? Oh yes, the boat. Lisa, Doug and Gerrad are friends of Heather and James from Seattle and they're here for the weekend so they will be on the boat with us. As for tonight, we're having a gathering at my house, sort of a pot-luck type of event, just to chill with the homies in the crib yo. And then we're going to try to get up at like ass-crack in the morning to get out to Willow Beach to pick up our boat by 9am. HA! Heather is making her famous tuna salad sandwiches with gluten-free bread. Lisa and I went shopping yesterday at Pier 1 and bought these cute little toothpick sandwich holder-togetherers with little palm trees and felt monkey's with coconuts on them. Total cheese, but really cute. I will have plenty of pictures from that event. I hope everyone enjoys the holiday!

Fitting Memorial

Ten years ago today, June 21, 1994, my friend's father Johnny Hendrey passed away suddenly at the age of 37. He really was a father figure to me. He is the one who forced me to sit and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation on Friday nights when I would sleep over at the Hendrey's house. Look where that got me, eh? I can honestly say that without those evenings, I would not be where I am today. I would be a totally different person. So I wanted to thank him outloud for all that he did for me while he was here, and thank him for the path that he has sent me on.


It's fitting that today the first commercial spaceflight took place. Johnny was always a big space buff and liked to talk about the possibilities of life on other worlds. We even swore we saw a UFO one night while sitting out on in his backyard, freezing to death, looking at the stars and talking about life. Every time I look at the stars I always know that he's out there somewhere experiencing all the amazing wonders of the universe that we would always end up talking about on those Friday nights.


Thank you, Johnny.

Things I'm Happy About

• My Boyfriend
  
• My Uncle Danny moving to Las Vegas
  
• Getting to see my Auntie Kathy, Carol, Uncle Steve, Uncle Fred and cousin Michael all in the same month.
  
• My summer trip to Canada
  
• Having my job back at Star Trek
  
• Living on my own
  
• Tobey (one of the wiener dogs I live with) giving me toe kisses in the morning.
  
• Losing 38 lbs.
  

Just thought I'd break from Politics for 3 days, to see if I had any reason to live. Man, politics can really get you down. It's so frustrating. I just needed to take a step back for a while. I don't know if I want to get as involved as I thought I did, now that I've had a break from it and can finally see good things in the world. I do want to stay informed, but not obsessed.


I went to Classmates.com today and had a good laugh. I saw Darren Bell, Blayne Alberts (one of my ex's) *shiver*, Warhorse, Mike Wordell (who I always had mad crush on because I thought he looked like Chris O'Donnell.) Too funny. I really hope we all have a reunion sometime. HOLY SHIT. In three years, will be our 10 year high school reunion. I wonder who plans those, or if they're just a myth that is used when you're graduating to make everything seem not-so-final. I'll have to see if anyone's there when I take Brandon there this summer and ask them what the procedure is for organizing one of these events. I wonder if they would be willing to release information to contact people. I know that on Classmates.com you have to pay for an upgraded membership in order to contact anyone, and that would suck because I know that most people don't want to have to do that. I wonder if I know enough people still in Edmonton in order to organize something like that? I'm sure some people don't want to see each other ever again, but I do! We'll see.


I think a little while back I mentioned that I had a story that I wanted to tell, but that I had to wait until school was over in order to have time to do it. Well here goes...


About a month back, Brandon was invited to a wedding reception for one of his co-workers. It was on a Saturday afternoon, so I really had no intention of going because I was working. He called me shortly before 6pm (I get off work at 6pm) to tell me that he was still there, had had a few beers and wanted me to come hang out for a little while. I told him OK and met him at this guy's house where the wedding reception was taking place. I met them and they started to show me pictures of the actual wedding. As I'm flipping through, one of the little girls in the pictures looks really familiar. So I ask the groom who that little girl is. He tells me that that's his daughter. Then (because he's had a few beers) he tells me this whole rant on how he's in a bitter custody battle with his ex that's been going on since she's been born and how his ex is crazy. Then the bride chimes in on how she likes to piss off the ex by being a bitch and all that. As this is all happening, time seems to stand still. I'm starting to make connections, then it hits me like a tonne of bricks.... *BAM!* I know this guys's story!


*FLASHBACK TO A COUPLE OF SEMESTERS AGO*
I had a lab partner who will remain nameless for Chemistry. She was a single mom and had moved to Las Vegas to escape her crazy abusive ex-husband. She's been in and out of court ever since the little girl was born. She was always talking to her ex through her lawyer, and they were both trying everything that they could in order to make the other's life more misirable. I would spend alot of time with this lab partner. We had a 3 hour lab, plus class, plus 6hrs a week usually of finishing up our labs. I really got to know her pretty well. She really told me everything, about how her husband totally changed when they got married and how he was a truck driver. She also told me that he'd moved to Las Vegas shortly after she did to stalk her. She had a restraining order on him and everything.
*FLASHBACK TO CURRENT*


SO I'M FREAKING OUT! This guy IS the crazy ex-husband that I'd been hearing about for a whole semester! AND HE'S GETTING REMARRIED!!! So I had to hold this in while we sat there chatting for another hour or so. I'm ready to burst. My boyfriend is in a state of disbelief when I tell him what was going on in the car after the party. He sort of remembered me telling him about my lab partner and stuff, so he was in a daze after hearing all of that shit about his co-worker that he's known casually for the last year and a half.


Small world hey? There's close to 2 million people in Las Vegas and here I am, freaking out. I still get freaked out when I think about it too much, so I think I'll go do some laundry to get my mind off it.

Every vote for John Kerry is a vote for Al-Queda???!!!

On CNN WOLF BLITZER REPORTS Aired May 27, 2004 - 17:00 ET Kelli Arena, CNN Justice Correspondent started the fear with the following remarks:

Miles, it's something that we've heard a lot about, a possible al Qaeda plot to influence elections. But there's their hasn't been a lot of discussion about what the objectives might be. So we checked in with some terror experts to find out.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

ARENA (voice-over): Terror experts say it's not about who wins the U.S. election, it's about impact.


M.J. GOHEL, ASIA-PACIFIC FOUNDATION: If, for instance, say, George Bush was in the lead in the opinion polls right now and an attack took place and that changes the equation as it did, for instance in Spain, then al Qaeda would feel that it has scored a major success.


ARENA: Al Qaeda affiliates attacked Spain just before its elections in March. Some suggests that cemented an overwhelming win for the socialist party.


ASHCROFT: We believe, for example, the attack in Spain is one that is viewed by al Qaeda as particularly effective in advancing al Qaeda objectives.


ARENA: The attack did result in Spain pulling its troops out of Iraq. Experts say the less Western influence in Iraq, the better for al Qaeda.


GOHEL: Iraq is a key battleground for the terrorists. The terrorists want to turn Iraq into another Taliban Afghanistan. They would like to see the premature withdrawal of the U.S.-led coalition forces.


ARENA: Neither John Kerry nor the president has said troops pulled out of Iraq any time soon. But there is some speculation that al Qaeda believes it has a better chance of winning in Iraq if John Kerry is in the White House.


BEN VENZKE, INTELCENTER: Al Qaeda feels that Bush is, even despite casualties, right or wrong for staying there is going to stay much longer than possibly what they might hope a Democratic administration would.


(END VIDEOTAPE)


ARENA: While U.S. officials say they're concerned of an attack as early as this summer, some experts believe if al Qaeda strikes with the election in mind it will do that just before November 2.


And while much attention is focused on the political conventions, experts say al Qaeda usually hits targets that it can hit on any day of the week -- Miles.

This is Bush's plan for Iraq: (From White House.gov)

"We will hand over authority to a sovereign Iraqi government, help establish security, continue rebuilding Iraq's infrastructure, encourage more international support, and move toward a national election that will bring forward new leaders empowered by the Iraqi people."

This is Kerry's plan for Iraq: (From John Kerry.com)

"We need a massive training effort to build an Iraqi security force that can actually provide security for the Iraqi people...An international High Commissioner should be authorized by the UN Security Council to organize the political transition to Iraqi sovereignty and the reconstruction of Iraq in conjunction with the new Iraqi government...NATO agreement to take on this mission should be reached no later than the NATO summit in late June.

THEY ARE THE SAME. The next slogan, "Every vote for John Kerry is a vote for Al-Queda!" WAIT A MINUTE! Al-Queda in IRAQ?!!!!!! Oh shit. Here we go again with the terrorists/Al-Queda/Iraq thing that worked so well on the American public just before we invaded and occupied Iraq.

From White House.govFeb. 8, 2003
BUSH:"Senior members of Iraqi intelligence and al Qaeda have met at least eight times since the early 1990s. Iraq has sent bomb-making and document forgery experts to work with al Qaeda. Iraq has also provided al Qaeda with chemical and biological weapons training. And an al Qaeda operative was sent to Iraq several times in the late 1990s for help in acquiring poisons and gases."

OK, so then we have this: From White House.gov March 23, 2004)

President Bush sought all possible links to the attacks of 9/11, including Iraq. Once advised that there was no evidence that Iraq was responsible for September 11, the President told his National Security Council that Iraq was not on the agenda.

So here we are again, trying to somehow connect Iraq and Al-Queda. DON'T FALL FOR IT. This is so freaking obvious to anyone who reads or pays attention. I wonder how often we're going to start hearing this over and over. JOHN KERRY IS NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY WHEN PUT INTO OFFICE ABOUT IRAQ. I don't know if they're anything else I can add. Just read this and pass it on to other people, so they don't get sucked into the propaganda machine.

Gateway

I just got off the phone with Gateway customer service. That operation has gone downhill. When you are talking to them, you can hear the echo of every word that you speak, which is very distracting. Also, the lady who "helped" me didn't actually put me on hold, she just put the phone down on her desk. How did I know this? I could hear the phone vibrating everytime she would strike the keyboard. Not to mention that she didn't say two words to me during the 5 minutes I was on "hold." The best part is the way she answered my question at first. This is how the call went:


Her:"Thank-you for calling Gateway Customer Service my name is Shana and my badge number is "blah blah blah" (she didn't actually say blah) how can I help you today."


Me:"I was wondering if I still qualify for that free windows XP upgrage that I was supposed to get when I first bought my computer in 2001."


Her:"No."


Me:"No? Um, why not?"


Her:"It's expired."


Me:"Could you check in your records to see if they did anything about this the first time I called about it a year ago?"


Her: Puts the phone down for 5 minutes. For all I know, she went out, had a cigarette, got a coke and picked up the phone 5 minutes later.


Her:"That has expired, and they will not honor that agreement."


Me:"Oh. Well, how much do you guys charge for a windows XP upgrade?"


Her:"$112.00 including shipping and handling."


Me:"Ok. I'll call back."


Her: CLICK.


Nice hey? I realize it was a shot in the dark anyway, but she didn't even want to check to see if she could do anything for me. I'll call back next week and ask someone else. If you get bad customer service, just try calling back until you get someone who knows what they're doing. I'm sure she could have given me the upgrade for free, but she was too busy not caring and getting annoyed at stupid customers like me who think that I come first! Well I NEVER!

Star Trek Convention

It's that time of year again when all Trekkies converge on the Las Vegas Hilton for the 3rd annual "Official Paramount/Creation Star Trek Convention." July 29th thru August 1st, 2004. This is who's going to be there:

• William Shatner (Captain Kirk)
  
• Leonard Nimoy (Spock)
  
• Kate Mulgrew (Captain Janeway)
  
• Brent Spiner (Data)
  
• Colm Meany (Miles O'Brien)
  
• George Takei (Sulu)
  
• Walter Koenig (Chekov)
  
• Marina Sirtis (Counsellor Deanna Troi)
  
• Tim Russ (Tuvok)
  
• Roxann Dawson (B'Elana Torres)
  
• Sally Kellerman (Dr Dehner from OS)
  
• Ethan Phillips (Neelix)
  
• David Gerrold (writer of "The Trouble With Tribbles")
  
• Alice Krige (The Borg Queen)
  
• Linda Park (Hoshi Sato)
  
• Tom Hardy (Shinzon from Nemesis)
  
• Anthony Montgomery (Travis Mayweather)
  
• Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher, internet guru)
  
• Cirroc Lofton (Jake Sisko)
  
• Eugene Roddenberry (Son of the creator of Star Trek)
  
• Majel Barrett Roddenberry (Wife of the creator of Star Trek)
  
• Todd Bryant and Spice Williams (Captain Klaa and Visis of Star Trek V)
  
• Jeffrey Combs (Shran, Weyoun, Brunt)
  
• Casey Biggs (Damar)
  
• Vaughn Armstrong (Admiral Forrest)
  
• Chase Masterson (Leeta)
  
• Max Grodenchik (Rom)
  

I won't be able to attend most of the convention because I'll be working, but I will try to make it for Thursday and Friday. Not to sound like a total convention snob or anything, but I've seen ALL of these people except for one. TOM HARDY. I feel like I should meet him just because he has the same last name as my boyfriend. I want to see if his teeth are really that bad in person.


I do alot of complaining. Sorry. This is where I come to vent. I'm really not this pissed off all the time. I do happy things, really. One more thing to complain about, my boyfriend is out of town this weekend and I'm getting a cold. Oh! Here comes another one (complaint)... I had to buy 4 books for the English 102 class that I'm taking this summer. It's only 4 weeks. YIKES.

WHY BUSH?

I don't understand why any sane person would want George W. Bush as our next president. It's not just him. I know that. It's his whole administration. Was the last administration like this? YES. Did they change anything? NO. I just feel that this time around, there are so many horrible things going on. From the prisoner abuse, to the WMD's, trying to link Al-Queda and Saddam Hussein, the Bush family ties to Saudi Arabia and Osama Bin Laden's family, the Patriot Act I & II and the list goes on and on. Yesterday, I heard on the news that the administration is worried that the terrorist will attack this summer and that they will try to influence our elections. Well, this thing can go one of three ways:

• They could attack around the election and the current White House will be forced to suspend the election until they can get things under control. Which would be a positive for Bush.
  
• They could attack during the summer, and Bush's approval rating will soar high enough to be re-elected for another four years. Another positive for Bush.
  
• There will be no terrorist attack, and George W. Bush will lose the next election.
  

Isn't it sad when the only way that Bush is going to be re-elected is if there is a terrorist attack? I hate to speculate, but I'm sure his camp has thought of this. Is this really going to make him want to stop a terrorist attack? I should think not. He said he was going to run the white house like a business. Are you loyal to your country or your company? Which one is going to pay you more? That's all any of this really boils down to is money and power. SAD. I don't think things will ever change, but I'm not going to just sit back and bitch and moan about how bad things are. I'm going to take action. I'm going to sit here and predict the next terrorist attack, and if I'm right, they you all have to go vote for Kerry in the next election (if we have one.) READY?

August 7th, 2004

So what happens if I'm wrong? If I'm off? I'll try to finish reading Ann Coulter's book Treason. Oh, regardless of who wins(?!) I'm also going to volunteer for the democratic party, decorate my car with stickers and maybe, If I have enough time, start a website for the regime change in Washington. And if there is a terrorist attack, before you start putting those american flags on your car again, please read and be very aware of what is going on. I was totally sucked in to the wave of patriotism just after 9/11 to the point where I actually had my name put on a list at a flag store for a car flag. WOW. That is hard-core. Do not let free-speech turn into "terrorist-you-are-with-us-or-against-us" crap again.

Just for shits and giggles, here's Al Gore's speech from a few days ago:

George W. Bush promised us a foreign policy with humility. Instead, he has brought us humiliation in the eyes of the world.


He promised to "restore honor and integrity to the White House." Instead, he has brought deep dishonor to our country and built a durable reputation as the most dishonest President since Richard Nixon.


Honor? He decided not to honor the Geneva Convention. Just as he would not honor the United Nations, international treaties, the opinions of our allies, the role of Congress and the courts, or what Jefferson described as "a decent respect for the opinion of mankind." He did not honor the advice, experience and judgment of our military leaders in designing his invasion of Iraq. And now he will not honor our fallen dead by attending any funerals or even by permitting photos of their flag-draped coffins.


How did we get from September 12th , 2001, when a leading French newspaper ran a giant headline with the words "We Are All Americans Now" and when we had the good will and empathy of all the world -- to the horror that we all felt in witnessing the pictures of torture in Abu Ghraib.


To begin with, from its earliest days in power, this administration sought to radically destroy the foreign policy consensus that had guided America since the end of World War II. The long successful strategy of containment was abandoned in favor of the new strategy of "preemption." And what they meant by preemption was not the inherent right of any nation to act preemptively against an imminent threat to its national security, but rather an exotic new approach that asserted a unique and unilateral U.S. right to ignore international law wherever it wished to do so and take military action against any nation, even in circumstances where there was no imminent threat. All that is required, in the view of Bush's team is the mere assertion of a possible, future threat - and the assertion need be made by only one person, the President.


More disturbing still was their frequent use of the word "dominance" to describe their strategic goal, because an American policy of dominance is as repugnant to the rest of the world as the ugly dominance of the helpless, naked Iraqi prisoners has been to the American people. Dominance is as dominance does. Dominance is not really a strategic policy or political philosophy at all. It is a seductive illusion that tempts the powerful to satiate their hunger for more power still by striking a Faustian bargain. And as always happens - sooner or later - to those who shake hands with the devil, they find out too late that what they have given up in the bargain is their soul.


One of the clearest indications of the impending loss of intimacy with one's soul is the failure to recognize the existence of a soul in those over whom power is exercised, especially if the helpless come to be treated as animals, and degraded. We also know - and not just from De Sade and Freud - the psychological proximity between sexual depravity and other people's pain. It has been especially shocking and awful to see these paired evils perpetrated so crudely and cruelly in the name of America.
Those pictures of torture and sexual abuse came to us embedded in a wave of news about escalating casualties and growing chaos enveloping our entire policy in Iraq. But in order understand the failure of our overall policy, it is important to focus specifically on what happened in the Abu Ghraib prison, and ask whether or not those actions were representative of who we are as Americans? Obviously the quick answer is no, but unfortunately it's more complicated than that.


There is good and evil in every person. And what makes the United States special in the history of nations is our commitment to the rule of law and our carefully constructed system of checks and balances. Our natural distrust of concentrated power and our devotion to openness and democracy are what have lead us as a people to consistently choose good over evil in our collective aspirations more than the people any other nation.


Our founders were insightful students of human nature. They feared the abuse of power because they understood that every human being has not only "better angels" in his nature, but also an innate vulnerability to temptation - especially the temptation to abuse power over others. Our founders understood full well that a system of checks and balances is needed in our constitution because every human being lives with an internal system of checks and balances that cannot be relied upon to produce virtue if they are allowed to attain an unhealthy degree of power over their fellow citizens. Listen then to the balance of internal impulses described by specialist Charles Graner when confronted by one of his colleagues, Specialist Joseph M. Darby, who later became a courageous whistleblower. When Darby asked him to explain his actions documented in the photos, Graner replied: "The Christian in me says it's wrong, but the Corrections Officer says, 'I love to make a groan man piss on himself." What happened at the prison, it is now clear, was not the result of random acts by "a few bad apples," it was the natural consequence of the Bush Administration policy that has dismantled those wise constraints and has made war on America's checks and balances.


The abuse of the prisoners at Abu Ghraib flowed directly from the abuse of the truth that characterized the Administration's march to war and the abuse of the trust that had been placed in President Bush by the American people in the aftermath of September 11th.


There was then, there is now and there would have been regardless of what Bush did, a threat of terrorism that we would have to deal with. But instead of making it better, he has made it infinitely worse. We are less safe because of his policies. He has created more anger and righteous indignation against us as Americans than any leader of our country in the 228 years of our existence as a nation -- because of his attitude of contempt for any person, institution or nation who disagrees with him.
He has exposed Americans abroad and Americans in every U.S. town and city to a greater danger of attack by terrorists because of his arrogance, willfulness, and bungling at stirring up hornet's nests that pose no threat whatsoever to us. And by then insulting the religion and culture and tradition of people in other countries. And by pursuing policies that have resulted in the deaths of thousands of innocent men, women and children, all of it done in our name.


President Bush said in his speech Monday night that the war in Iraq is "the central front in the war on terror." It's not the central front in the war on terror, but it has unfortunately become the central recruiting office for terrorists. [Dick Cheney said, "This war may last the rest of our lives.] The unpleasant truth is that President Bush's utter incompetence has made the world a far more dangerous place and dramatically increased the threat of terrorism against the United States. Just yesterday, the International Institute of Strategic Studies reported that the Iraq conflict " has arguable focused the energies and resources of Al Qaeda and its followers while diluting those of the global counterterrorism coalition." The ISS said that in the wake of the war in Iraq Al Qaeda now has more than 18,000 potential terrorists scattered around the world and the war in Iraq is swelling its ranks.
The war plan was incompetent in its rejection of the advice from military professionals and the analysis of the intelligence was incompetent in its conclusion that our soldiers would be welcomed with garlands of flowers and cheering crowds. Thus we would not need to respect the so-called Powell doctrine of overwhelming force.


There was also in Rumsfeld's planning a failure to provide security for nuclear materials, and to prevent widespread lawlessness and looting.
Luckily, there was a high level of competence on the part of our soldiers even though they were denied the tools and the numbers they needed for their mission. What a disgrace that their families have to hold bake sales to buy discarded Kevlar vests to stuff into the floorboards of the Humvees! Bake sales for body armor.
And the worst still lies ahead. General Joseph Hoar, the former head of the Marine Corps, said "I believe we are absolutely on the brink of failure. We are looking into the abyss."


When a senior, respected military leader like Joe Hoar uses the word "abyss", then the rest of us damn well better listen. Here is what he means: more American soldiers dying, Iraq slipping into worse chaos and violence, no end in sight, with our influence and moral authority seriously damaged.


Retired Marine Corps General Anthony Zinni, who headed Central Command before becoming President Bush's personal emissary to the Middle East, said recently that our nation's current course is "headed over Niagara Falls."
The Commander of the 82nd Airborne Division, Army Major General Charles H. Swannack, Jr., asked by the Washington Post whether he believes the United States is losing the war in Iraq, replied, "I think strategically, we are." Army Colonel Paul Hughes, who directed strategic planning for the US occupation authority in Baghdad, compared what he sees in Iraq to the Vietnam War, in which he lost his brother: "I promised myself when I came on active duty that I would do everything in my power to prevent that ... from happening again. " Noting that Vietnam featured a pattern of winning battles while losing the war, Hughes added "unless we ensure that we have coherence in our policy, we will lose strategically."


The White House spokesman, Dan Bartlett was asked on live television about these scathing condemnations by Generals involved in the highest levels of Pentagon planning and he replied, "Well they're retired, and we take our advice from active duty officers."


But amazingly, even active duty military officers are speaking out against President Bush. For example, the Washington Post quoted an unnamed senior General at the Pentagon as saying, " the current OSD (Office of the Secretary of Defense) refused to listen or adhere to military advice." Rarely if ever in American history have uniformed commanders felt compelled to challenge their commander in chief in public.
The Post also quoted an unnamed general as saying, "Like a lot of senior Army guys I'm quite angry" with Rumsfeld and the rest of the Bush Administration. He listed two reasons. "I think they are going to break the Army," he said, adding that what really incites him is "I don't think they care."


In his upcoming book, Zinni blames the current catastrophe on the Bush team's incompetence early on. "In the lead-up to the Iraq war, and its later conduct," he writes, "I saw at a minimum, true dereliction, negligence and irresponsibility, at worst, lying, incompetence and corruption."


Zinni's book will join a growing library of volumes by former advisors to Bush -- including his principal advisor on terrorism, Richard Clarke; his principal economic policy advisor, former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, former Ambassador Joe Wilson, who was honored by Bush's father for his service in Iraq, and his former Domestic Adviser on faith-based organizations, John Dilulio, who said, "There is no precedent in any modern White House for what is going on in this one: a complete lack of a policy apparatus. What you've got is everything, and I mean everything, run by the political arm. It's the reign of the Mayberry Machiavellis."


Army Chief of Staff General Eric Shinseki told Congress in February that the occupation could require "several hundred thousand troops." But because Rumsfeld and Bush did not want to hear disagreement with their view that Iraq could be invaded at a much lower cost, Shinseki was hushed and then forced out.
And as a direct result of this incompetent plan and inadequate troop strength, young soldiers were put in an untenable position. For example, young reservists assigned to the Iraqi prisons were called up without training or adequate supervision, and were instructed by their superiors to "break down" prisoners in order to prepare them for interrogation.


To make matters worse, they were placed in a confusing situation where the chain of command was criss-crossed between intelligence gathering and prison administration, and further confused by an unprecedented mixing of military and civilian contractor authority.


The soldiers who are accused of committing these atrocities are, of course, responsible for their own actions and if found guilty, must be severely and appropriately punished. But they are not the ones primarily responsible for the disgrace that has been brought upon the United States of America.
Private Lynndie England did not make the decision that the United States would not observe the Geneva Convention. Specialist Charles Graner was not the one who approved a policy of establishing an American Gulag of dark rooms with naked prisoners to be "stressed" and even - we must use the word - tortured - to force them to say things that legal procedures might not induce them to say.


These policies were designed and insisted upon by the Bush White House. Indeed, the President's own legal counsel advised him specifically on the subject. His secretary of defense and his assistants pushed these cruel departures from historic American standards over the objections of the uniformed military, just as the Judge Advocates General within the Defense Department were so upset and opposed that they took the unprecedented step of seeking help from a private lawyer in this city who specializes in human rights and said to him, "There is a calculated effort to create an atmosphere of legal ambiguity" where the mistreatment of prisoners is concerned."
Indeed, the secrecy of the program indicates an understanding that the regular military culture and mores would not support these activities and neither would the American public or the world community. Another implicit acknowledgement of violations of accepted standards of behavior is the process of farming out prisoners to countries less averse to torture and giving assignments to private contractors
President Bush set the tone for our attitude for suspects in his State of the Union address. He noted that more than 3,000 "suspected terrorists" had been arrested in many countries and then he added, "and many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way: they are no longer a problem to the United States and our allies."
George Bush promised to change the tone in Washington. And indeed he did. As many as 37 prisoners may have been murdered while in captivity, though the numbers are difficult to rely upon because in many cases involving violent death, there were no autopsies.


How dare they blame their misdeeds on enlisted personnel from a Reserve unit in upstate New York. President Bush owes more than one apology. On the list of those he let down are the young soldiers who are themselves apparently culpable, but who were clearly put into a moral cesspool. The perpetrators as well as the victims were both placed in their relationship to one another by the policies of George W. Bush.
How dare the incompetent and willful members of this Bush/Cheney Administration humiliate our nation and our people in the eyes of the world and in the conscience of our own people. How dare they subject us to such dishonor and disgrace. How dare they drag the good name of the United States of America through the mud of Saddam Hussein's torture prison.


David Kay concluded his search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq with the famous verdict: "we were all wrong." And for many Americans, Kay's statement seemed to symbolize the awful collision between Reality and all of the false and fading impressions President Bush had fostered in building support for his policy of going to war.


Now the White House has informed the American people that they were also "all wrong" about their decision to place their faith in Ahmed Chalabi, even though they have paid him 340,000 dollars per month. 33 million dollars (CHECK) and placed him adjacent to Laura Bush at the State of the Union address. Chalabi had been convicted of fraud and embezzling 70 million dollars in public funds from a Jordanian bank, and escaped prison by fleeing the country. But in spite of that record, he had become one of key advisors to the Bush Administration on planning and promoting the War against Iraq.


And they repeatedly cited him as an authority, perhaps even a future president of Iraq. Incredibly, they even ferried him and his private army into Baghdad in advance of anyone else, and allowed him to seize control over Saddam's secret papers.
Now they are telling the American people that he is a spy for Iran who has been duping the President of the United States for all these years.
One of the Generals in charge of this war policy went on a speaking tour in his spare time to declare before evangelical groups that the US is in a holy war as "Christian Nation battling Satan." This same General Boykin was the person who ordered the officer who was in charge of the detainees in Guantanamo Bay to extend his methods to Iraq detainees, prisoners. ... The testimony from the prisoners is that they were forced to curse their religion Bush used the word "crusade" early on in the war against Iraq, and then commentators pointed out that it was singularly inappropriate because of the history and sensitivity of the Muslim world and then a few weeks later he used it again.


"We are now being viewed as the modern Crusaders, as the modern colonial power in this part of the world," Zinni said.
What a terrible irony that our country, which was founded by refugees seeking religious freedom - coming to America to escape domineering leaders who tried to get them to renounce their religion - would now be responsible for this kind of abuse..
Ameen Saeed al-Sheikh told the Washington Post that he was tortured and ordered to denounce Islam and after his leg was broken one of his torturers started hitting it while ordering him to curse Islam and then, " they ordered me to thank Jesus that I'm alive." Others reported that they were forced to eat pork and drink alcohol.
In my religious tradition, I have been taught that "ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit... Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."


The President convinced a majority of the country that Saddam Hussein was responsible for attacking us on September 11th. But in truth he had nothing whatsoever to do with it. The President convinced the country with a mixture of forged documents and blatantly false assertions that Saddam was in league with Al Qaeda, and that he was "indistinguishable" from Osama bin Laden.


He asked the nation , in his State of the Union address, to "imagine" how terrified we should be that Saddam was about to give nuclear weapons to terrorists and stated repeatedly that Iraq posed a grave and gathering threat to our nation. He planted the seeds of war, and harvested a whirlwind. And now, the "corrupt tree" of a war waged on false premises has brought us the "evil fruit" of Americans torturing and humiliating prisoners.


In my opinion, John Kerry is dealing with this unfolding tragedy in an impressive and extremely responsible way. Our nation's best interest lies in having a new president who can turn a new page, sweep clean with a new broom, and take office on January 20th of next year with the ability to make a fresh assessment of exactly what our nation's strategic position is as of the time the reigns of power are finally wrested from the group of incompetents that created this catastrophe.


Kerry should not tie his own hands by offering overly specific, detailed proposals concerning a situation that is rapidly changing and unfortunately, rapidly deteriorating, but should rather preserve his, and our country's, options, to retrieve our national honor as soon as this long national nightmare is over.
Eisenhower did not propose a five-point plan for changing America's approach to the Korean War when he was running for president in 1952.


When a business enterprise finds itself in deep trouble that is linked to the failed policies of the current CEO the board of directors and stockholders usually say to the failed CEO, "Thank you very much, but we're going to replace you now with a new CEO -- one less vested in a stubborn insistence on staying the course, even if that course is, in the words of General Zinni, "Headed over Niagara Falls."
One of the strengths of democracy is the ability of the people to regularly demand changes in leadership and to fire a failing leader and hire a new one with the promise of hopeful change. That is the real solution to America's quagmire in Iraq. But, I am keenly aware that we have seven months and twenty five days remaining in this president's current term of office and that represents a time of dangerous vulnerability for our country because of the demonstrated incompetence and recklessness of the current administration.


It is therefore essential that even as we focus on the fateful choice, the voters must make this November that we simultaneously search for ways to sharply reduce the extraordinary danger that we face with the current leadership team in place. It is for that reason that I am calling today for Republicans as well as Democrats to join me in asking for the immediate resignations of those immediately below George Bush and Dick Cheney who are most responsible for creating the catastrophe that we are facing in Iraq.


We desperately need a national security team with at least minimal competence because the current team is making things worse with each passing day. They are endangering the lives of our soldiers, and sharply increasing the danger faced by American citizens everywhere in the world, including here at home. They are enraging hundreds of millions of people and embittering an entire generation of anti-Americans whose rage is already near the boiling point.


We simply cannot afford to further increase the risk to our country with more blunders by this team. Donald Rumsfeld, as the chief architect of the war plan, should resign today. His deputies Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas Feith and his intelligence chief Stephen Cambone should also resign. The nation is especially at risk every single day that Rumsfeld remains as Secretary of Defense.
Condoleeza Rice, who has badly mishandled the coordination of national security policy, should also resign immediately.


George Tenet should also resign. I want to offer a special word about George Tenet, because he is a personal friend and I know him to be a good and decent man. It is especially painful to call for his resignation, but I have regretfully concluded that it is extremely important that our country have new leadership at the CIA immediately.


As a nation, our greatest export has always been hope: hope that through the rule of law people can be free to pursue their dreams, that democracy can supplant repression and that justice, not power, will be the guiding force in society. Our moral authority in the world derived from the hope anchored in the rule of law. With this blatant failure of the rule of law from the very agents of our government, we face a great challenge in restoring our moral authority in the world and demonstrating our commitment to bringing a better life to our global neighbors.


During Ronald Reagan's Presidency, Secretary of Labor Ray Donovan was accused of corruption, but eventually, after a lot of publicity, the indictment was thrown out by the Judge. Donovan asked the question, "Where do I go to get my reputation back?" President Bush has now placed the United States of America in the same situation. Where do we go to get our good name back?


The answer is, we go where we always go when a dramatic change is needed. We go to the ballot box, and we make it clear to the rest of the world that what's been happening in America for the last four years, and what America has been doing in Iraq for the last two years, really is not who we are. We, as a people, at least the overwhelming majority of us, do not endorse the decision to dishonor the Geneva Convention and the Bill of Rights....


Make no mistake, the damage done at Abu Ghraib is not only to America's reputation and America's strategic interests, but also to America's spirit. It is also crucial for our nation to recognize - and to recognize quickly - that the damage our nation has suffered in the world is far, far more serious than President Bush's belated and tepid response would lead people to believe. Remember how shocked each of us, individually, was when we first saw those hideous images. The natural tendency was to first recoil from the images, and then to assume that they represented a strange and rare aberration that resulted from a few twisted minds or, as the Pentagon assured us, "a few bad apples."


But as today's shocking news reaffirms yet again, this was not rare. It was not an aberration. Today's New York Times reports that an Army survey of prisoner deaths and mistreatment in Iraq and Afghanisatan "show a widespread pattern of abuse involving more military units than previously known.'


Nor did these abuses spring from a few twisted minds at the lowest ranks of our military enlisted personnel. No, it came from twisted values and atrocious policies at the highest levels of our government. This was done in our name, by our leaders.
These horrors were the predictable consequence of policy choices that flowed directly from this administration's contempt for the rule of law. And the dominance they have been seeking is truly not simply unworthy of America - it is also an illusory goal in its own right.


Our world is unconquerable because the human spirit is unconquerable, and any national strategy based on pursuing the goal of domination is doomed to fail because it generates its own opposition, and in the process, creates enemies for the would-be dominator. A policy based on domination of the rest of the world not only creates enemies for the United States and creates recruits for Al Qaeda, it also undermines the international cooperation that is essential to defeating the efforts of terrorists who wish harm and intimidate Americans.


Unilateralism, as we have painfully seen in Iraq, is its own reward. Going it alone may satisfy a political instinct but it is dangerous to our military, even without their Commander in Chief taunting terrorists to "bring it on."
Our troops are stretched thin and exhausted not only because Secretary Rumsfeld contemptuously dismissed the advice of military leaders on the size of the needed force - but also because President Bush's contempt for traditional allies and international opinion left us without a real coalition to share the military and financial burden of the war and the occupation. Our future is dependent upon increasing cooperation and interdependence in a world tied ever more closely together by technologies of communications and travel. The emergence of a truly global civilization has been accompanied by the recognition of truly global challenges that require global responses that, as often as not, can only be led by the United States - and only if the United States restores and maintains its moral authority to lead.
Make no mistake, it is precisely our moral authority that is our greatest source of strength, and it is precisely our moral authority that has been recklessly put at risk by the cheap calculations and mean compromises of conscience wagered with history by this willful president.


Listen to the way Israel's highest court dealt with a similar question when, in 1999, it was asked to balance due process rights against dire threats to the security of its people:
"This is the destiny of democracy, as not all means are acceptable to it, and not all practices employed by its enemies are open before it. Although a democracy must often fight with one hand tied behind its back, it nonetheless has the upper hand. Preserving the Rule of Law and recognition of an individual's liberty constitutes an important component in its understanding of security. At the end of the day they (add to) its strength."


The last and best description of America's meaning in the world is still the definitive formulation of Lincoln's annual message to Congress on December 1, 1862:
"The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise - with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country. Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history...the fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor to the latest generation...We shall nobly save, or meanly lose the last best hope of earth...The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just - a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless."


It is now clear that their obscene abuses of the truth and their unforgivable abuse of the trust placed in them after 9/11 by the American people led directly to the abuses of the prisoners in Abu Ghraib prison and, we are now learning, in many other similar facilities constructed as part of Bush's Gulag, in which, according to the Red Cross, 70 to 90 percent of the victims are totally innocent of any wrongdoing.
The same dark spirit of domination has led them to - for the first time in American history - imprison American citizens with no charges, no right to see a lawyer, no right to notify their family, no right to know of what they are accused, and no right to gain access to any court to present an appeal of any sort. The Bush Admistration has even acquired the power to compel librarians to tell them what any American is reading, and to compel them to keep silent about the request - or else the librarians themselves can also be imprisoned.


They have launched an unprecedented assault on civil liberties, on the right of the courts to review their actions, on the right of the Congress to have information to how they are spending the public's money and the right of the news media to have information about the policies they are pursuing.


The same pattern characterizes virtually all of their policies. They resent any constraint as an insult to their will to dominate and exercise power. Their appetite for power is astonishing. It has led them to introduce a new level of viciousness in partisan politics. It is that viciousness that led them to attack as unpatriotic, Senator Max Cleland, who lost three limbs in combat during the Vietnam War.
The president episodically poses as a healer and "uniter". If he president really has any desire to play that role, then I call upon him to condemn Rush Limbaugh - perhaps his strongest political supporter - who said that the torture in Abu Ghraib was a "brilliant maneuver" and that the photos were "good old American pornography," and that the actions portrayed were simply those of "people having a good time and needing to blow off steam."


This new political viciousness by the President and his supporters is found not only on the campaign trail, but in the daily operations of our democracy. They have insisted that the leaders of their party in the Congress deny Democrats any meaningful role whatsoever in shaping legislation, debating the choices before us as a people, or even to attend the all-important conference committees that reconcile the differences between actions by the Senate and House of Representatives.
The same meanness of spirit shows up in domestic policies as well. Under the Patriot Act, Muslims, innocent of any crime, were picked up, often physically abused, and held incommunicado indefinitely. What happened in Abu Ghraib was difference not of kind, but of degree.


Differences of degree are important when the subject is torture. The apologists for what has happened do have points that should be heard and clearly understood. It is a fact that every culture and every politics sometimes expresses itself in cruelty. It is also undeniably true that other countries have and do torture more routinely, and far more brutally, than ours has. George Orwell once characterized life in Stalin's Russia as "a boot stamping on a human face forever." That was the ultimate culture of cruelty, so ingrained, so organic, so systematic that everyone in it lived in terror, even the terrorizers. And that was the nature and degree of state cruelty in Saddam Hussein's Iraq.


We all know these things, and we need not reassure ourselves and should not congratulate ourselves that our society is less cruel than some others, although it is worth noting that there are many that are less cruel than ours. And this searing revelation at Abu Ghraib should lead us to examine more thoroughly the routine horrors in our domestic prison system.


But what we do now, in reaction to Abu Ghraib will determine a great deal about who we are at the beginning of the 21st century. It is important to note that just as the abuses of the prisoners flowed directly from the policies of the Bush White House, those policies flowed not only from the instincts of the president and his advisors, but found support in shifting attitudes on the part of some in our country in response to the outrage and fear generated by the attack of September 11th.
The president exploited and fanned those fears, but some otherwise sensible and levelheaded Americans fed them as well. I remember reading genteel-sounding essays asking publicly whether or not the prohibitions against torture were any longer relevant or desirable. The same grotesque misunderstanding of what is really involved was responsible for the tone in the memo from the president's legal advisor, Alberto Gonzalez, who wrote on January 25, 2002, that 9/11 "renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions."


We have seen the pictures. We have learned the news. We cannot unlearn it; it is part of us. The important question now is, what will we do now about torture. Stop it? Yes, of course. But that means demanding all of the facts, not covering them up, as some now charge the administration is now doing. One of the whistleblowers at Abu Ghraib, Sergeant Samuel Provance, told ABC News a few days ago that he was being intimidated and punished for telling the truth. "There is definitely a coverup," Provance said. "I feel like I am being punished for being honest."
The abhorrent acts in the prison were a direct consequence of the culture of impunity encouraged, authorized and instituted by Bush and Rumsfeld in their statements that the Geneva Conventions did not apply. The apparent war crimes that took place were the logical, inevitable outcome of policies and statements from the administration.
To me, as glaring as the evidence of this in the pictures themselves was the revelation that it was established practice for prisoners to be moved around during ICRC visits so that they would not be available for visits. That, no one can claim, was the act of individuals. That was policy set from above with the direct intention to violate US values it was to be upholding. It was the kind of policy we see - and criticize in places like China and Cuba.


Moreover, the administration has also set up the men and women of our own armed forces for payback the next time they are held as prisoners. And for that, this administration should pay a very high price. One of the most tragic consequences of these official crimes is that it will be very hard for any of us as Americans - at least for a very long time - to effectively stand up for human rights elsewhere and criticize other governments, when our policies have resulted in our soldiers behaving so monstrously. This administration has shamed America and deeply damaged the cause of freedom and human rights everywhere, thus undermining the core message of America to the world.


President Bush offered a brief and half-hearted apology to the Arab world - but he should apologize to the American people for abandoning the Geneva Conventions. He also owes an apology to the U.S. Army for cavalierly sending them into harm's way while ignoring the best advice of their commanders. Perhaps most importantly of all, he should apologize to all those men and women throughout our world who have held the ideal of the United States of America as a shining goal, to inspire their hopeful efforts to bring about justice under a rule of law in their own lands. Of course, the problem with all these legitimate requests is that a sincere apology requires an admission of error, a willingness to accept responsibility and to hold people accountable. And President Bush is not only unwilling to acknowledge error. He has thus far been unwilling to hold anyone in his administration accountable for the worst strategic and military miscalculations and mistakes in the history of the United States of America.


He is willing only to apologize for the alleged erratic behavior of a few low-ranking enlisted people, who he is scapegoating for his policy fiasco.
In December of 2000, even though I strongly disagreed with the decision by the U.S. Supreme Court to order a halt to the counting of legally cast ballots, I saw it as my duty to reaffirm my own strong belief that we are a nation of laws and not only accept the decision, but do what I could to prevent efforts to delegitimize George Bush as he took the oath of office as president.


I did not at that moment imagine that Bush would, in the presidency that ensued, demonstrate utter contempt for the rule of law and work at every turn to frustrate accountability...


So today, I want to speak on behalf of those Americans who feel that President Bush has betrayed our nation's trust, those who are horrified at what has been done in our name, and all those who want the rest of the world to know that we Americans see the abuses that occurred in the prisons of Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo and secret locations as yet undisclosed as completely out of keeping with the character and basic nature of the American people and at odds with the principles on which America stands.


I believe we have a duty to hold President Bush accountable - and I believe we will. As Lincoln said at our time of greatest trial, "We - even we here - hold the power, and bear the responsibility."

Some days, I wish I could just disappear. I might elaborate later, or not. I don't know. BLAH.

Jesus Cut Me Off Today

I was driving on the on-ramp for the I-15 today, and this black SUV totally cut me off. The licence plate said CHRIST. Ha! Made my day.

Bullies

When I was in Jr. High, guys used to think it was fun to "flip" pennies at the girls. Of course, they liked to "flip" pennies at hookers as well, so you figure out what that meant. I don't know if you've ever been hit by a penny when it's going really fast, but it really hurts. I found myself in a flashback today. I was at work, and I work in a cash cage strictly for employees. I usually trade in tips for the bartenders so they don't have to walk around with four hundred dollars in ones in their pocket. I did that for someone today, and when I turned around to count his money, I heard this lound "PANG" but decided to ignore it, because I knew what they were trying to do (they are a little juvenile) so I didn't want to encourage them. I didn't really think they could shoot the coin through the little hole that I deal with them through. Did that make sense? Oh well. All of a sudden this penny whizzes past my head and leaves a dent in the wall. I then turned around and they were just as supriszed as I was. They started apologizing and I just turned around and continued to count their money, and I realized that that event really upset me. I was actually holding back tears. Talk about drudging up old memories. Not to mention that Jr. High was the worst years of my life so far. Looking back on the incident that just happened a few minutes ago, he could have really hit me in the eye. WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME MEN!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!! I have lost all respect for them now. I'm sure they're hurt. /sarcastic



I found this really great internet radio station at Accu Radio.com Click on Stations and Modern Rock Clasics: The 90's Grunge and Later. Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, Cibo Mato, Portishead, Liz Phair, Moby, Bush and the freaking list goes on. I love it.



I'll have a story to tell once school is over. It's not about school, but it's rather a long one that I have to put some effort into and I just won't have the motivation until I've finished taking my Physics Final.

First Day Back

It was my first day back at Star Trek: The Experience today. It was pretty cool. Cash control is totally different, as is our job. I'll actually be working alot more than I originally thought. So to all those people who thought that I'd have all this free time to chat on the internet, I won't. I will have some downtime, but not much. The damn ticket scanner still doesn't work. But this time, it's kind of funny. I balanced both my deposit and the vault even though I hadn't worked in CC since 11/02.

We (Me, Brandon and his brother) went to Brian Head this weekend. It was a little slushy in parts, but still pretty fun. I did take quite a fall though. Nothing is broken, but I have a bruised rib (at least that's what I think it is; it hurts only on one side when I enhale or exhale too fast), knocked my head on the ice/snow, and knocked the wind out of myself. But my knight in shining armor came running halfway up the hill to rescue me. I was all jacked up. That happened to me only my second run, but I still skied the whole rest of the day, making sure that we got on every lift that was open, and on every run we could (that wasn't too steep for me because I was kind of scared of going too fast.) Brandon and his brother were snowboarding and they were doing tricks and stuff. Mmmmmmm.... Hot snowboarder boyfriend. We stayed at this really cool little motel the Abbey Inn. Most hotels offer a "continental" breakfast usually consisting of sweet bread thing, coffee/tea and some sort of fruit. Not here. They had a full on breakfast "house." They had scrambled eggs, toast, bagels, bacon, sausage, waffles, oatmeal and three different kinds of cereals. Plus fresh fruit. FREE. That's right folks, FREE. Our hotel stay was $55 and it included the meal. All the rooms had microwaves and refridgerators in them. The bathroom had a heat lamp. (mmmmm.... HEAT) There was eleven million channels on the TV and even the beds were comfortable. The only problem I had with the room was that the freaking pillows were crappy. Other than that, one of the best motels I've ever stayed at. And I've stayed at alot of motels (being the whore that I am.)

Hey Tara? Are you reading this? Are you still there? Give me a call sometime..

Same goes for you too, Andy.

And Christa.

And Jeff.

And anyone else who wants to drop me a line.

I really am coming up to Edmonton this summer. I'll be spending like four days there. Brandon and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary researching each other's past and seeing where we both come from. He was born in Los Angeles but moved up to northern Cali shortly after that. So we'll be going to visit his mom, step-dad and his grandmother. I hope to be able to introduce him to as many family memebers and friends as I can while I'm in Edmonton, so everyone clear your calenders.

I can't believe that I didn't write about my trip to Grand Slam! I'm totally out of it. It was fun! I'll eventually get pictures up of it, you all know how I am. I got to meet Brent Spiner (to those of you non-nerds, the guy who plays Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation). It was the first time since I've been going to conventions that he's ever signed anything for anyone. There's usually this huge disclaimer from Creation Entertainment stating that "Brent Spiner does not sign autographs so please, no personal questions or questions about why he doesn't sign autographs." Not an exact quote, but pretty close. It was good to see Paul and Ralph! And of course, wollem and her crew! I had some friends get to take a tour of the Enterprise sets! If you want to read their story, you'll have to register for their BB. Just go to House of Tucker and go to the Trip! page and that should be the first posting. Great stuff.

Speaking of Enterprise, IT'S GETTING REALLY GOOD, for those of you keeping track. They've really stepped it up this season, for fear of being cancled. They changed it's time-slot. It's on Wed. @ 9pm instead of 8pm, so eveyone needs to change their VCRs.

So anyhoo, that's all from this end. Smell ya later...

New Stuff

So, I quit the Aladdin. They suck. Bastards.

I have my job back at Star Trek: The Experience! WHEEEEE! I guess they laid (layed?) so many people off that they've been trying to play catch up ever since. I will be working my old job in cash control, so everyone get ready for an extended online presence on the Trek BBS.

I won the local UPN contest to attend the Grand Opening of the new Borg Invasion 4D at the Experience. Free bar, free food, free first ride. It was fun. I didn't like the simulator part of the new ride as much as the interactive part of the first ride (if that makes any sense) but it was still fun.

I've gotten terrible marks on both of my Physics exams, but my teacher thinks I'm doing very well considering I've gotten above the class average in both cases. (Class average 1st test: 68% 2nd test: 61%) My Philosophy of religion teacher is convinced that everything has come from Christianity. That gets really old. Other than that, school is great!

I'm going skiing this weekend at Brian Head. Maybe we'll actually take pictures this time of us on skis.

Dude, I'm totally stoked to be here...

Oh dude. I was totally shredin' on the board, and when it got squirly on me I just fell flat on my ass. Yes that's right. I went SNOWBOARDING! It was hard. I ache all over. I fell about 50 times. It was snowing pretty hard at Lee Canyon though, so we had some padding to land on. Not to mention the padding on my fat ass. I had ghetto-ass overalls. Brandon talked me out of buying new ones at Sport Chalet last night, but they SUCK. They don't keep my ass dry, holes exist in many places leaving the white inside non-waterpoof exposed, and I have to use safety pins to keep them up because the zipper is totally broken. Not to mention that they are at least one size too big. It sort of reminded me of when I was in high school and all the cool kids had all the really nice clothes. Designer jeans (like Esprit, Guess, Mossimo, Gasoline - remember those guys?) and all I had was levis. Levis were sort of cool too, but not nearly as cool as those ones previously mentioned. Needless to say... when I get my tax return this week, I will be heading to a sports store where I will be buying goggles, a new touque, new snow pants and possible a new winter jacket. Back to the actual sport.... Brandon and his brother(Damian) were really good at it. They went on the big hill, while me and Pam (Damian's friend) sucked. Well no, we didn't suck but we both were better on skis. She used to figure skate and she roller skates all the time now, so I can kind of tell why we're both better at skiing. The boots for showboarding are much more comfy. Oops. Gotta go study. I have two tests in the next two days.

"Mind Blowing" Party

So most of the marketing people from the Aladdin and all of the other casinos on the strip were invited to a private party at Steve Wyrick's house last Tuesday. Open bar, food and lots of people. There was a chocolate fountain. That's right, a chocolate fountain. It was surrounded by pretzles, strawberries, and various other delightful things that people like to dip in chololate and you just ran it under the fountain, waited for it to dry for a couple of seconds and then you had chocolate covered something. That was pretty cool. I'm pretty easily amused, hey? So we got the whole run of his house. We were allowed to go anywhere. He only had a two bedroom house in a "Country Club" sort of place, no pool, no hot tub. But he had a killer bathroom in the master bedroom. His shower was as big as the bathroom in my bedroom. He had a jacuzzi tub in the center of his bathroom with dual sinks on both sides. Decorated very plainly but he may have just put stuff away so that creeps like us didn't steal anything. It was fun. He had an amazing view as well. It overlooked the golf course, and the Strip. I can only hope to be able to afford something like that in my life.

I got summoned for jury duty again. This time it's Federal Court. DA DA DA! Maybe I'll get the Sandy Murphy trail. You know, the one who supposedly killed her husband and billionaire Ted Binion. I doubt it.

I'm going to balance my check book now. WHEEEEE

I'm done.

You know, at every job that i've been at, i've always had a decent time until something triggers the inevitable moment where I realize that I'm done. This moment is one of severe frustration mixed with total indifference, then add a pinch of helplessness and anxiety and voila! I had that moment at work today. I was surprised that it actually took this long to happen. When I was working at Star Trek, that moment came about 8 months after I started working there. I've been at the Aladdin for just over a year. I'm going to explain the situation just because I have to vent.

So, this all started a couple weeks ago when I was interviewing for a new job within the department that I'm currently working in. It was higher pay, less "customer service" kind of job. I would have my own cubicle and would get to work with Excel and Word all day long. The perfect sort of job where I'd have something to do with my day. Anyhoo, I was having my second interview which I think I mentioned in a previos post and my boss was surprised and slightly appalled that I had never been to the Aladdin's Orientation.

*flashback to 1 year ago*
Not only did they forget about me at the job fair (they locked me in the Aladdin Theater for the Performing Arts) after getting me ready for the second interview for the Slot Promotions Representative, but They also forgot to schedule me for orientation. I mentioned it to my supervisor, and she said that she'd take care of it. When I wasn't ever told about it again, I didn't figure it was that big of a deal. I figured that HR would give me a call if Orientation was really a life or death situation.

*flashback to present*
So my interview with the Director is now focused on the fact that I never went to Orientation.

"Did you tell anyone?" He asked.
"Of course I did," I said, "I told [the supervisor] about it a week after my probationary period."
"And what did she say?" He asked.
"She said that 'she would take care of it'" I said.
"And did she?" He asked.
WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT YOU FUCKING MORON, OR ELSE WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS FUCKING CONVERSATION.
"Um, no, I didn't go to orientation." I said, trying to leave the sarcasm out of my voice.
At this point, I started to feel the job slip from my grasp. I also started to feel the conversation start to go in circles.
"Did you know that as an Aladdin employee, it is required that you attend orientation?"
"Well, I just figured that if it were that big of a deal, and I missed it, that HR would contact me to make another appointment." I said.
"So how come you didn't come directly to me if [your supervisor] failed to do something about it?" He asked.
I really wanted to tell him that in my first month of being at a job, going over your supervisor's head was something that you just didn't do. I also wanted to tell him that I really wasn't being paid to be a supervisor watchdog either. So I said, "I really didn't think It was that big of a deal for the director of Marketing to become involved."
"Orientation is a very important part of being an employee here at the Aladdin." He said.
"Ok," I said, "So will you help me arrange another orientation?"
"FOR SURE." He said. Emphasis mine.
"You won't forget?" I asked.
"Oh no, we'll most definately get this taken care of right away." He promised.

That was three weeks ago, and yep, you guessed it. NO ORIENTATION. And I'm not going to look into it. I'm not going to fucking chase down the people of HR and demand that they let me into their next orientation session or else I'm not a whole person. I DON'T CARE.

So today, this new guy gets called down into the directors office and gets yelled at for not attending orientation. He wasn't made aware that his orientation was even scheduled, and when he came back upstairs, he looked at the calender and realized that the orientation was actually for next Thursday, not yesterday. SO he was yelled at for no reason. For something that's "So Important" but not necessarily important enough to "...get this taken care of right away." I know this seems really small, but then it snowballed. I started thinking about how bad sales have been lately, how bad morale among our crew is and how no one really cares what happens with our department. It just seemed like our Director was in a bad mood and wanted to personally intimidate someone who was new so that he could feel better about this whole Superbowl mess. Deflecting his anger. That's great. So it's a perpetual cycle where he gets mad that our sales aren't up, and yells at the leads and supervisors. They in turn get down our throats and we all hate them. Then we don't care about how business does, because all our Director cares about is the numbers. Then you start to feel like a cog in the big giant corporate machine and voila! Back to the beginging of this whole rant. You know what my lead said when I told her exacly what I was thinking and that we should all have a meeting with our Director? She said, "It's the same everywhere, so you'll just have to stop whining and just live with it." What a sad state. Do we really live in a country where if something is not right that we just bend over and take it up the ass? That's exactly what it looks like. So now, I walk into the Aladdin without care or motivation to do anything beyond what my job entails. If they want me to be "pretend lead" and close when one of their leads is sick or has time off, but not pay me extra? Sorry, no. Above and beyond the call of duty? Hell no. Fuck the Aladdin.

Next Post: Steve Wyrick's party. "With Mind Blowing Magic!" (not really)

I'm a stalker

Sometimes, I really do feel like a stalker. That is all.

Things to Read

I've been really into reading some hard-core books lately. Not sex hard-core, but politics hard-core. I read, "Dude, Where's my country?" by Michael Moore. He asks some very important questions that were not answered about the War In Iraq and the propaganda leading up to that war. I've gotten about half way through David Icke's "Alice In Wonderland and the World Trade Center Disaster" and I'm currently reading "LIES (And the LYING LYARS Who Tell Them)" by Al Franken. Can you tell which way I lean? In all fairness, I really did try to watch the O'Reilly factor tonight and he does have some good points. But god forbid anyone dissagrees with him. He is always right, and he'll outright lie or make shit up just to make himself look better. For all the proof regarding those allegations, please read that book I just mentioned by Al Franken. It will totally open your eyes. I've also vowed to read Ann Coulter's book, even though Al Franken refers to her as a "nutcase." I usually get really riled up during years where I will eventually get to vote for the next president (and I will vote for anyone who is not Bush.)

So my Physics class is showing promise. I actually understand everything so far, and the teacher seems to know what he's talking about. Isn't our education in a sad state when we can't actully trust that teachers will know what the hell they're talking about when you are paying for a class? You have to wonder every semester if you are really going to get a good education or not. Of course, I've paid for nothing this semester due to my Scholarship, but that runs out after this semester. My philosophy of religion teacher is an old, white christian man, but he doesn't seem so bad. I don't get the feeling that he's going to proselytize or anything. One of our assignments is to go to a church that we are not familiar with at all, and it can't be a christian church, and do a 5 page paper on our experience. Heather is taking the class with me, and I think we're going to go to a Hindu temple, or figure out what Ba'hai is. (I probably didn't even spell that right.)


SHE BANGS! SHE BANGS! WHoa. Sorry. American Idol moment.

We have this new guy at our work. He's a 40 year old gay jewish guy who had gastrointestinal bipass surgury a year ago and has lost 150 pounds. You know, we never get anyone normal. It certainly makes things interesting. Like take a look at (before you click on this link, it's Not Safe For Work)this. YUP. I work with that guy as well. No, I'm not kidding. He's one of the few down to earth people that I know at that job, plus he's a really nice guy.

OH! I got invited to a private party at Steve Wyrick's house next week. All the people that deal with the public are invited to his private home to, I don't quite know. You better belive I'm going. I went to see him when he was playing at the Sahara, and man, was it awful. I went this one time with my Uncles and we were all just laughing the whole time. I've heard that the show is no better at the Aladdin. I wonder if his show will stay when the Aladdin turns into Planet Hollywood. I guess we'll see. I'll let you know how the party went, and I'm going to try to smuggle in a camera, so we'll see what happens.

Columbia

So when I opened up my Physics text book, guess what the first page said?

We dedicate this book to the courageous astronauts who died on the space shuttle Columbia on February 1, 2003. The women and men of the international team lost their lives not in a contest between countries or a struggle for necessities but in advancing one of humankind's noblest creations - science.

Yeah, I had tears in my eyes. And no doubt in my mind as to my chosen occupation. I went for a job interview to be our director of marketings' assistant. I even got a second interview. I didn't get it, but that whole situation made me realize that I'm really not made out for corporate america. I think the sentence that made my director not chose me for the job was, "I always belive in giving people a second chance. If someone does something wrong, and they are told it is wrong they should get the chance to redo or make it up somehow. I guess that I believe that if we are open and honest with other people, they will do the right thing and be open and honest with us." That sentence of course does not apply to killers, child molesters or rapists, but you get the idea. I'm just too honest for a corporate job. Or as most people would say, naive. You really have to be a shark. You have to be willing to be on the lookout to document whomever is in your way so you can get them fired so that they are no longer in the way anymore. All of the questions that I was asked in the second interview that I had had nothing to do with what my job would have been. They had to do with who was doing what to whom, and who was smoking when they weren't supposed to be. It seemed like my boss was just looking for the ammo he needed to have an excuse to lay people off. Man, I really hate my job sometimes. On that note, I'm going to my real job: Physics 180 - YEAH BABY, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!1