The Gym

This is just a little rant about my experience at the gym yesterday. I've been going about 4 times a week, for the last few weeks. It's a coed gym, but there is a seperate room that is just a "ladies" gym. So, I usually go in there, it's less crowded, and well, there's no men ;). I look over at this one woman, who was thinner than I, and kind of greet her as I'm walking toward the stair master. You know, just one of those little acknowlegements that happens when two people pass each other. She looked at me with such pity, up then down. I just smiled and kept walking. I think she might have stopped and watched me walk past her. I then had an epiphany. I was someone else's motivation at the gym. That girl was giving me the "thank god I don't look like that" look. When I look at people who are larger than me, at the gym, I'm always thinking "you go girl." It motivates me to want to lose weight. I guess some people need negative motivation in order to feel motivated.


Then I started to get really sad and angry because here we are all, at the gym, working our asses off (literally) and there is all this other shit going on in the world. I was watching Fox news on my headphones, and I was totally blown away by the events of late. And there I was, on the stair master, worried about some beauty standard that really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. I was thinking about how that girl who looked at me funny could take her hostility and put it towards a good cause, like Yucca Mountain. I was thinking about how totally unfair it all is, I'm in an air conditioned gym, while there are people all around the world who are hungry, without shelter, and have no family.


Then I started thinking that I was a hypocrite. We all are. I would not give up this lifestyle, for anything. I would not go live in Afghanistan for 6 months, just to feel thier pain. I really just wish that things were good for everyone, or at least not so abso-fucking-lutly horrible. I realize that we need bad in our lives to recognize the good, but there is just so much bad right now.


On a lighter note... I have a job on Monday's and Tuesday's at my college as a math tutor. They pay me and everything. I will be tutoring 6 hours a day, and it's kind of like a drop in thing, where I'm there for 6 hours and people come and go. Maybe when the fall semester comes, I'll quit Star Trek and tutor full time. But I have to see how I like it. I might hate it more than here, but I doubt it. I just need a change. I'm getting restless...